What to send someone who is sick, recovering, or grieving

By GiftPicker ·

When someone you care about is ill, recovering from surgery, or grieving, most of us want to do something and also worry about getting it wrong. Look for something they can simply accept. It shouldn't need a thank-you note or any effort from them, and it should fit what they are actually going through.

The ideas below work for a friend, a relative, or a colleague, and they are grouped by situation. Suggestions for the card are at the end.

Check a few things first

  • Ask someone close to them. A partner, a parent, or a close friend often knows whether they would welcome a delivery, and where they are staying.
  • Respect their privacy. Share only what they have chosen to share, and keep details about their health out of group chats and card messages.
  • Ask about food. Treatment and recovery can change what someone is able to eat, and grief can take away an appetite entirely.
  • Say that no reply is needed. Writing thank-you notes is one more task for someone who is already stretched.

Start with the things that cost nothing

  • Reach out. A short text or a quick call that says you are thinking of them, and asks for nothing back, can mean as much as anything in a box.
  • Offer specific help. “Can I walk the dog on Thursday?” is easier to accept than “Let me know if you need anything.”
  • Share something to listen to. Send a short list of favorite podcasts or audiobooks for the long hours of rest.
  • Gather a card. If they are a coworker or part of a club or team, pass a card around so they can see how many people are rooting for them.

If they're recovering at home: meals and treats

Someone resting at home after surgery or an illness usually needs food they don't have to cook and comfortable ways to pass the time, so start with meals.

An Instacart gift card covers groceries, delivery fees, and tips, and it never expires, so they can use it whenever they need a restock. An Uber and Uber Eats gift card handles takeout on the nights when nobody feels like cooking, and a HelloFresh gift card brings meal kits with pre-measured ingredients for the days they feel up to cooking. For anything else they need, an Amazon gift card arrives by email the same day.

For treats and easy pantry meals, Stonewall Kitchen's Best of the Best Gift Basket packs twenty of its favorites, from Wild Maine Blueberry Jam to pancake mix and pasta sauce, into a reusable wicker basket, enough for easy breakfasts and dinners while they recover. For someone who eats keto or gluten-free, Wonder Monday's keto cheesecakes come in four flavors with zero grains or gluten. Sugarfina's Champagne Bears are gummies made with Dom Pérignon champagne that contain no alcohol, and Teaspressa's Champagne Bellini Mixer Kit holds 18 handmade fruit cubes to drop into prosecco, or into sparkling water for a mocktail, on the day they feel like celebrating.

For the long days on the couch

Recovery involves a lot of waiting, so look for gifts that make the waiting a little more comfortable.

Thistle Farms' essential oil roll-on set has Calm, Balance, and Focus blends handcrafted by women survivors at the Nashville nonprofit, and the pocket-size rollers need no diffuser. The Qi's Daily Ritual Flower Tea Set comes with nine whole blooms and a glass cup for brewing caffeine-free tea. The Bearaby Snuggler is a weighted, bottle-shaped pillow with a clay-based fill that warms in the microwave in about a minute and holds heat for up to an hour, so it can rest on the stomach, back, or lap.

An Audible gift membership gives them one audiobook credit a month, and it doesn't auto-renew. The Little Book of Hygge by Meik Wiking is a cozy, illustrated read about candlelight, warm drinks, and unhurried time, which suits a slow week at home. And for when they are back on their feet, a Heyday facial gift card pays for a 50-minute facial built around a skin analysis; check that there is a studio near them first.

If it's a longer stretch of treatment

A long illness changes the kind of help that is useful. Look for gifts that keep working over weeks, or that brighten the room where someone spends most of their time.

Living plants bring some green to a room that hasn't seen much fresh air lately. The Sill's Houseplant of the Month Club delivers a new plant in a ceramic planter every month, and its Best Sellers Duo sends a monstera and a snake plant at once. For someone who likes to grow their own, the self-watering Click & Grow Smart Garden 3 grows herbs and greens on the counter under its own lights, and Truelove Seeds' African Diaspora Collection pairs four heritage seed packets, including the Paul Robeson tomato, with illustrated postcards that tell each seed's story, which gives them something to plant next spring.

Framebridge's custom framed photo prints a favorite picture of yours, frames it behind a white mat, and ships it in a gift box with a personal note.

If they've lost someone

When someone is grieving, the main thing is to let them know you are thinking of them. Keep the gift modest, and lean toward food for the household or something that honors the person who died.

Harry & David's Sympathy Gift Box holds pears, apples, cheddar, summer sausage, crackers, and baked goods, packed in a box that can be set out when visitors come by. Healing After Loss by Martha Whitmore Hickman offers a short reading for every day of the year, which suits the days when a whole book feels impossible. A TisBest Charity Gift Card lets the family give to a charity the person they lost cared about. And The Little Market's candles, now made by Prosperity Candle, include an In Loving Memory personalized candle with the name and date you choose, hand-poured by a woman artisan who came to the US as a refugee.

If they've lost a pet

Friends, family, and coworkers often heard about that dog or cat every week, so a small acknowledgment shows you understand how much the loss hurts.

The Savor Pet Story Box has a 5 by 7 photo frame on the front and three lidded compartments inside for a collar, tags, and other keepsakes. Goodbye, Friend by Gary Kowalski offers stories and advice for anyone grieving an animal, including how to talk with children about the loss. You can also make a memorial donation to the ASPCA, which sends the family a card by email right away or by mail within 3 to 10 business days.

What to write in the card

Keep it short and sincere. Acknowledge what happened, offer support without asking them to do anything, and leave out advice or comparisons with your own experience. A few starting points:

  • For an illness or recovery: “Thinking of you and hoping each day gets a little easier. I'll check in next week, and there's no need to reply.”
  • For a loss: “I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm thinking of you and your family.”
  • For a pet: “I'm so sorry about Biscuit. I know how much he meant to you.”

If the card is from a group, such as your team at work, a short line from each person adds up to something that feels supportive without being overwhelming.

Looking for a sympathy gift? Choose who it's for and Sympathy in the quiz to see only the gifts we've hand-picked for someone who is grieving. Take the GiftPicker quiz.

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